Post by MovieManiac on Jun 22, 2004 9:16:54 GMT -5
I wrote the beginning of an actual story that i actually wrote. Its a modern day version of the Wizard of Oz. I wrote it in a corny, fairytalish way so it seemed like little kids would be able to understand it. I want your honest opinion if you think i should keep going. This is only the first part, so it really isn't very good yet. This whole part takes place in Kansas, on a farm out side Kansas City. So here is my story:
It was another day in Kansas City, Kansas. The birds were chirping and the farmers were farming. The crickets were cricketing and the plants were growing. Henry the farmer was just finishing watering his tobacco crop and he stopped to go smoke a cigarette. Emily was busy cooking roast beef and pie for supper. She looked out the window, waiting for their darling niece to come home from downtown Kansas City. Living outside the big city made it hard for Aunt Emily and Uncle Henry to look after their darling niece. She hadn’t always been so reliable in the past. Ever since her parents died when she was eight, she had always been getting into trouble.
Aunt Emily looked out the window again to see her niece walking down the dirt road with a tired look in her eyes. She was slightly hunched over and walking in a wobbling motion. Going straight from left to right, stopping once in a while to stop from falling over. Aunt Emily stepped outside to meet her. Dorothy was walking slowly towards her when they finally met.
“Dorothy where have you been?” asked Aunt Emily in a quiet but strict voice. “Uncle Henry and I have been worried sick about you!”
“Oh, Auntie Em,” said Dorothy obviously very tired and woozy. “I was just in town buying some groceries.”
“Well where are they dear?” said Auntie Em looking around her, trying to see if there was anything at all in her hands.
“Well,” said Dorothy, trying to make up a lie. “I lost them on the way back. But don’t worry Auntie Em, I’ll go get us some new ones.”
“Now see here young lady,” exclaimed Auntie Em. “You had better not be doing cocaine like your good for nothing parents. Remember what happened to them? They died in a drug exchange by bullets to the head. And may God help me if it were to happen to you, too.”
“I promise Auntie Em,” yelled Dorothy. “I was just getting groceries!”
“Now see here young lady!” Auntie Em yelled back. “If you don’t settle down….”
Auntie Em had no time to finish her sentence because at that moment, a car pulled up so fast it almost hit Dorothy in the back. A surprised look came about Auntie Em’s face when she saw that it was none other than Ms. Gultch. Ms. Gultch was probably one of the crabbiest old ladies in all of the state of Kansas. She got out of her car with an angrier face than usual. She looked straight at Dorothy staring at her with her eye starting to twitch.
“That damn girl of yours has pissed me off for the last time!” shouted Ms. Gultch. “She has robbed my house! She took my money and killed my cat with my umbrella! That girl of yours belongs in a mental institution Emily! Be lucky I don’t deal with her myself!”
“Now Ms. Gultch,” said Auntie Em, calmly, but looking at Dorothy the whole time. “What proof do you have that it could be Dorothy?”
“I saw her running away from my house with the door broken down!” shouted Ms. Gultch, angrier than before. “If you don’t believe me, check her pockets! There should be at least four hundred dollars with her!”
Auntie Em walked over to Dorothy and patted her down. Sure enough, there was $423 in her front pocket. Auntie Em gave Dorothy a dirty look while she handed the money to Ms. Gultch.
“I hope that the police can stay out of this,” said Auntie Em. “Dorothy will be severely punished for this. If you can think of a punishment, I will seriously consider it.”
“Not this time,” said Ms. Gultch. “I know all the things that Dorothy has been doing, and I’ve never had any proof that it was her. Until now! The girl needs to learn that with crime comes punishment. A good five years in prison should turn her right around. I’d love to see what the police say when they find traces of drugs in her system.”
“Now Ms. Gultch,” said Auntie Em. “Can’t we settle this outside of the law?”
“No!” Ms. Gultch shouted. “I’ll be back in a few minutes with the sheriff. That girl is as good as convicted.”
Then Ms. Gultch turned from Auntie Em to Dorothy.
“And don’t think you can run OR hide.” Ms. Gultch said. “Because you have the whole state of Kansas against you, my pretty. No matter where you are, you will be found!”
And with that, Ms. Gultch drove away. A trail of dust behind her.
“I guess there’s nothing we can do now.” aid Auntie Em as she walked to the house with tears in her eyes.
Dorothy was still clueless on what had just happened, but she still had a pretty good idea. Dorothy may have been very high, but she knew that if she were ever put into jail, Auntie Em would have her heart broken. So Dorothy did the only thing she could think of. She started to run towards the city.
“If I can reach Frank, I think I’ll be safe!” thought Dorothy.
Frank was Dorothy’s cocaine supplier. He had never been busted before, so the police probably wouldn’t have a tip to go there. She was running through the city like a madwoman. Every person she ran by glanced at her as she turned the corner. All the citizen’s eyes watched her. Suddenly, a police car was slowly driving down the road. The policeman inside was staring at her as he drove, seeing where she could be desperately running. Dorothy knew he was watching, but she couldn’t let him know she knew. She was outside the pharmacy and she stopped. She ran up to the door and went inside. The policeman drove away as she entered.
Quickly, she dashed out and ran until she got up to Frank’s door. She knocked on the door as a drop of rain fell from the sky. No answer. She heard the TV on inside and knocked again. It started to sprinkle. She walked over to the window where she thought she heard the TV. Inside Frank was laying on the couch passed out. It started to pour down rain very heavily.
Dorothy didn’t know what to do. She looked down the street and saw a gypsy cart in a clearing between two apartment buildings. She sped over to it as fast as she could and looked at the side. It read:
PROF. MARVEL
FORTUNE TELLER AND PALM READER
Dorothy looked around to see if anyone was watching and went slowly inside. Inside at a table fast asleep was an older man wearing a turban and an odd green robe. She looked at him and carefully tapped him on the shoulder. He awoke with a yelp. He looked around and saw Dorothy in front of her.
“May I help you young lady?” he said with a small smile.
“Yes,” said Dorothy. “It’s raining outside and I’m far from my home. I was hoping I could stay here until the storm quiets down a bit.”
Prof. Marvel looked out the door.
“So it is,” he said softly. “Please, stay as long as you’d like.”
“Thank you,” said Dorothy.
“So you’re running away from home?” asked Prof. Marvel.
“Yes, but how did you…” she asked.
“Trying to get away from the law, eh?” he asked.
“How do you know all of this?”
“I am a fortune teller, my dear, that is simply my job.”
“Is it all right there in that crystal ball?”
“Yes, my dear, it is.”
“Wow, I never believed in this type of thing before. I thought it was all a scam.”
“Well let’s see what we have in the ball.”
Dorothy sat down and started to stare into the ball. There was some sort of smoke inside of the ball that was a maroon sort of color.
“Oh dear,” said Prof. Marvel. “Now what is this?”
“What is it?” exclaimed Dorothy.
“There is an old woman,” said Prof. Marvel. “She seems to be crying on the bed.”
“That’s my Auntie Em,” said Dorothy. “She must be upset that I left.”
“Now,” said Prof. Marvel. “She seems to be going through her dresser. She’s looking for something. Hmmmm….. she can’t seem to find what she’s looking for. She’s throwing all her clothes on the floor.”
Dorothy sat staring at the crystal ball, trying to see what Prof. Marvel was seeing. Her face was pale white.
“AHA!” yelled Prof. Marvel. “She’s found it!”
“What is it?” Dorothy cried out Dorothy.
“Why,” said Prof. Marvel. “It looks like a needle. Now it looks like she is praying.”
“No!” yelled Dorothy. “She can’t! She won’t! She’s too old! Oh, she going to kill herself and it’s all my fault! I don’t care that I go to jail! She didn’t do anything, I did!”
Dorothy ran out of the cart crying into the rain.
“Good luck Dorothy!” yelled Prof. Marvel.
Dorothy ran as fast as her legs would carry her. She passed people on the street and even police cars without stopping. Every once in a while, she would trip and fall onto the ground. No matter what, she kept going. Finally, she got to the farm. The storm was getting worse. She was almost getting blown backwards by the wind. Dorothy was all out of energy. She pulled out what was left of her cocaine from her back pocket. It started blowing everywhere. She threw what was left into her face and ran towards the farmhouse. Suddenly, a tornado came through the sky and smashed the house to pieces. Dorothy ran into the cellar from the base of the house. No one was there.
“Does that mean they’re…” thought Dorothy. “No, they can’t be.”
The tornado sped at Dorothy at an overwhelming speed. Dorothy grabbed a piece of wood lying on the ground, held it against the tornado, and then closed her eyes. It blew fiercely against her, blowing her back, but she stayed up. Her tightly shut, she pushed against the cyclone.
Suddenly she heard no wind. She felt no pressure. The smell she smelled was of sweet flowers. She opened her eyes and saw light. She laid the piece of wood down behind her. There were small houses all around her. It seemed she was in a small town, only one-third the size of a regular town. She heard birds chirping, and bees buzzing. There was a quiet, soft breeze in the air. The sun shined down on this little town. Dorothy was in Kansas no longer.
It was another day in Kansas City, Kansas. The birds were chirping and the farmers were farming. The crickets were cricketing and the plants were growing. Henry the farmer was just finishing watering his tobacco crop and he stopped to go smoke a cigarette. Emily was busy cooking roast beef and pie for supper. She looked out the window, waiting for their darling niece to come home from downtown Kansas City. Living outside the big city made it hard for Aunt Emily and Uncle Henry to look after their darling niece. She hadn’t always been so reliable in the past. Ever since her parents died when she was eight, she had always been getting into trouble.
Aunt Emily looked out the window again to see her niece walking down the dirt road with a tired look in her eyes. She was slightly hunched over and walking in a wobbling motion. Going straight from left to right, stopping once in a while to stop from falling over. Aunt Emily stepped outside to meet her. Dorothy was walking slowly towards her when they finally met.
“Dorothy where have you been?” asked Aunt Emily in a quiet but strict voice. “Uncle Henry and I have been worried sick about you!”
“Oh, Auntie Em,” said Dorothy obviously very tired and woozy. “I was just in town buying some groceries.”
“Well where are they dear?” said Auntie Em looking around her, trying to see if there was anything at all in her hands.
“Well,” said Dorothy, trying to make up a lie. “I lost them on the way back. But don’t worry Auntie Em, I’ll go get us some new ones.”
“Now see here young lady,” exclaimed Auntie Em. “You had better not be doing cocaine like your good for nothing parents. Remember what happened to them? They died in a drug exchange by bullets to the head. And may God help me if it were to happen to you, too.”
“I promise Auntie Em,” yelled Dorothy. “I was just getting groceries!”
“Now see here young lady!” Auntie Em yelled back. “If you don’t settle down….”
Auntie Em had no time to finish her sentence because at that moment, a car pulled up so fast it almost hit Dorothy in the back. A surprised look came about Auntie Em’s face when she saw that it was none other than Ms. Gultch. Ms. Gultch was probably one of the crabbiest old ladies in all of the state of Kansas. She got out of her car with an angrier face than usual. She looked straight at Dorothy staring at her with her eye starting to twitch.
“That damn girl of yours has pissed me off for the last time!” shouted Ms. Gultch. “She has robbed my house! She took my money and killed my cat with my umbrella! That girl of yours belongs in a mental institution Emily! Be lucky I don’t deal with her myself!”
“Now Ms. Gultch,” said Auntie Em, calmly, but looking at Dorothy the whole time. “What proof do you have that it could be Dorothy?”
“I saw her running away from my house with the door broken down!” shouted Ms. Gultch, angrier than before. “If you don’t believe me, check her pockets! There should be at least four hundred dollars with her!”
Auntie Em walked over to Dorothy and patted her down. Sure enough, there was $423 in her front pocket. Auntie Em gave Dorothy a dirty look while she handed the money to Ms. Gultch.
“I hope that the police can stay out of this,” said Auntie Em. “Dorothy will be severely punished for this. If you can think of a punishment, I will seriously consider it.”
“Not this time,” said Ms. Gultch. “I know all the things that Dorothy has been doing, and I’ve never had any proof that it was her. Until now! The girl needs to learn that with crime comes punishment. A good five years in prison should turn her right around. I’d love to see what the police say when they find traces of drugs in her system.”
“Now Ms. Gultch,” said Auntie Em. “Can’t we settle this outside of the law?”
“No!” Ms. Gultch shouted. “I’ll be back in a few minutes with the sheriff. That girl is as good as convicted.”
Then Ms. Gultch turned from Auntie Em to Dorothy.
“And don’t think you can run OR hide.” Ms. Gultch said. “Because you have the whole state of Kansas against you, my pretty. No matter where you are, you will be found!”
And with that, Ms. Gultch drove away. A trail of dust behind her.
“I guess there’s nothing we can do now.” aid Auntie Em as she walked to the house with tears in her eyes.
Dorothy was still clueless on what had just happened, but she still had a pretty good idea. Dorothy may have been very high, but she knew that if she were ever put into jail, Auntie Em would have her heart broken. So Dorothy did the only thing she could think of. She started to run towards the city.
“If I can reach Frank, I think I’ll be safe!” thought Dorothy.
Frank was Dorothy’s cocaine supplier. He had never been busted before, so the police probably wouldn’t have a tip to go there. She was running through the city like a madwoman. Every person she ran by glanced at her as she turned the corner. All the citizen’s eyes watched her. Suddenly, a police car was slowly driving down the road. The policeman inside was staring at her as he drove, seeing where she could be desperately running. Dorothy knew he was watching, but she couldn’t let him know she knew. She was outside the pharmacy and she stopped. She ran up to the door and went inside. The policeman drove away as she entered.
Quickly, she dashed out and ran until she got up to Frank’s door. She knocked on the door as a drop of rain fell from the sky. No answer. She heard the TV on inside and knocked again. It started to sprinkle. She walked over to the window where she thought she heard the TV. Inside Frank was laying on the couch passed out. It started to pour down rain very heavily.
Dorothy didn’t know what to do. She looked down the street and saw a gypsy cart in a clearing between two apartment buildings. She sped over to it as fast as she could and looked at the side. It read:
PROF. MARVEL
FORTUNE TELLER AND PALM READER
Dorothy looked around to see if anyone was watching and went slowly inside. Inside at a table fast asleep was an older man wearing a turban and an odd green robe. She looked at him and carefully tapped him on the shoulder. He awoke with a yelp. He looked around and saw Dorothy in front of her.
“May I help you young lady?” he said with a small smile.
“Yes,” said Dorothy. “It’s raining outside and I’m far from my home. I was hoping I could stay here until the storm quiets down a bit.”
Prof. Marvel looked out the door.
“So it is,” he said softly. “Please, stay as long as you’d like.”
“Thank you,” said Dorothy.
“So you’re running away from home?” asked Prof. Marvel.
“Yes, but how did you…” she asked.
“Trying to get away from the law, eh?” he asked.
“How do you know all of this?”
“I am a fortune teller, my dear, that is simply my job.”
“Is it all right there in that crystal ball?”
“Yes, my dear, it is.”
“Wow, I never believed in this type of thing before. I thought it was all a scam.”
“Well let’s see what we have in the ball.”
Dorothy sat down and started to stare into the ball. There was some sort of smoke inside of the ball that was a maroon sort of color.
“Oh dear,” said Prof. Marvel. “Now what is this?”
“What is it?” exclaimed Dorothy.
“There is an old woman,” said Prof. Marvel. “She seems to be crying on the bed.”
“That’s my Auntie Em,” said Dorothy. “She must be upset that I left.”
“Now,” said Prof. Marvel. “She seems to be going through her dresser. She’s looking for something. Hmmmm….. she can’t seem to find what she’s looking for. She’s throwing all her clothes on the floor.”
Dorothy sat staring at the crystal ball, trying to see what Prof. Marvel was seeing. Her face was pale white.
“AHA!” yelled Prof. Marvel. “She’s found it!”
“What is it?” Dorothy cried out Dorothy.
“Why,” said Prof. Marvel. “It looks like a needle. Now it looks like she is praying.”
“No!” yelled Dorothy. “She can’t! She won’t! She’s too old! Oh, she going to kill herself and it’s all my fault! I don’t care that I go to jail! She didn’t do anything, I did!”
Dorothy ran out of the cart crying into the rain.
“Good luck Dorothy!” yelled Prof. Marvel.
Dorothy ran as fast as her legs would carry her. She passed people on the street and even police cars without stopping. Every once in a while, she would trip and fall onto the ground. No matter what, she kept going. Finally, she got to the farm. The storm was getting worse. She was almost getting blown backwards by the wind. Dorothy was all out of energy. She pulled out what was left of her cocaine from her back pocket. It started blowing everywhere. She threw what was left into her face and ran towards the farmhouse. Suddenly, a tornado came through the sky and smashed the house to pieces. Dorothy ran into the cellar from the base of the house. No one was there.
“Does that mean they’re…” thought Dorothy. “No, they can’t be.”
The tornado sped at Dorothy at an overwhelming speed. Dorothy grabbed a piece of wood lying on the ground, held it against the tornado, and then closed her eyes. It blew fiercely against her, blowing her back, but she stayed up. Her tightly shut, she pushed against the cyclone.
Suddenly she heard no wind. She felt no pressure. The smell she smelled was of sweet flowers. She opened her eyes and saw light. She laid the piece of wood down behind her. There were small houses all around her. It seemed she was in a small town, only one-third the size of a regular town. She heard birds chirping, and bees buzzing. There was a quiet, soft breeze in the air. The sun shined down on this little town. Dorothy was in Kansas no longer.
