Post by MovieManiac on Oct 17, 2005 18:43:43 GMT -5
Heres a quick little read I wrote. If you love it, tell what you liked. If you hate it, bash the living hell out of it. If you have no comment, don't put anything. If you don't plan to read it, the you are 46 words already out of your goal. Anyway, here it is:
No Title
It was our third time that night, and the mood was still strong. It was the best I had ever had. A night of passion where all your fantasies come true. A married man’s dream. If only I was married to her.
She got off of me and lay next to me on the bed. She was breathing like she had almost drowned. The smell of her perfume was burning my eyes, but at least it covered up that sleazy hotel room smell. Then she turned on her side and stared straight into my eyes. I laid on my back with my head turned, still looking back at her. We were lost for what seemed like hours. She was the one who broke the silence.
“Well how was that?” she said in her devilish voice. She knew that I knew what I was going to say, but she asked anyway.
“My head hurts a little,” I said. It was true. The back of my head was throbbing. In all the times we had snuck out to see each other, I had never felt a felling like this. It was like my skull had a pulse.
“Well,” she said with a half-smirk. “That’s because I just fucked your brains out.”
“I guess you did,” I said back.
There was a long pause, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. At least, not for her.
“You know,” she said. “I’ve lost count on how many times we’ve been with each other.”
“Me too,” I said back.
“Don’t you think that means something?” she asked, slowly twirling little figure eights with her index finger in between us. “Of course it means something,” I said in my head. “But I have no clue what it is. And I’m up shit creek if I don’t figure it out in about three seconds.”
“What?” I asked.
“That we love each other.”
My spine started to swell. A hundred little invisible bugs started pinching my face. I obviously didn’t show it, because she just lay there looking at my eyes, trying to hear what I was thinking. I would’ve tried to block it out, but honestly, I was trying to figure out what I was thinking as well. Suddenly I was starting to hover off the bed ever so slightly. I looked down to see if I was moving and my eyes became glued to the sheets.
“Don’t you think so?” she asked. “I mean, it’s not just about sex anymore for either of us. We’ve grown together. We are no longer who we where when this began. This could be the moment where we realize it.”
My eyes were still glued to the sheets. The message went in my ear and made root in my brain. I couldn’t think straight. What time was it? What was today? Does my wife suspect anything? Was she with another man, just like I was with another woman? Would they have gone somewhere like me, or stayed at home and done it in my bed? Our bed! One thing was for sure. My eyes weren’t moving from that spot on the bed, or else the world was going to end.
“Let’s go,” said a voice. “You and me. We’ll take the money we have and drive out of town. I have a full tank of gas. We can buy a house in a new town, and get new jobs. Then we can get married and live together until we die. What do you say?”
I tried to look at her, but my eyes weighed 50 lbs more than they did a few minutes ago. Slowly I made my way up to her breasts. Her chest. Her neck. Her mouth. Her nose. Her eyes. Damn those eyes. They were as focused on me as ever. All I could think to do was try to smile. Part of one managed to break through. Her eyes widened across her forehead. Her lips stretched across the width of her nose and narrowed all the way to her chin. She leaped from the bed shaking. She tried to talk, but she was so short of breath that it just sounded like gibberish.
“I’m going to get in the shower,” she finally said. “When I get out, we can leave.”
She walked with a new sort of step I had never seen her walk in before. She cracked the bathroom door and turned on the faucet to the shower. It pounded the tub and broke my concentration.
“A new life!” said my head in excitement. “No more depression and longing for something more. A new life. A new start, able to begin where I started and not have to live with the mistakes I made before. A new life…. Leaving everyone I know and not looking back. A new life, meaning never having to see my daughter or my wife again. A new life? This is what I want. Right?”
My mind froze for what had to be at least a minute.
“Of course it is. What did your wife ever do for you? If she cared then she wouldn’t have led you to sneaking out on her. And your daughter? She’s lost to you. She probably wouldn’t even notice if you were gone. I need proof. You want proof? Go look at the woman in the shower and tell yourself it isn’t worth it.”
I walked toward the sweet smell of her skin, getting wetter by the second in the shower. The door was only slightly cracked, not enough for me to see inside. I slowly pushed the door. Did it creak when she closed it? I can’t remember. I pushed softer still until I could fit my body inside. I remember the bathroom being plain white, but at that moment, it was pink. Pink shower, pink toilet, pink towels, pink air. I saw her silhouette in the curtain. Her back was to the spout and her head was hanging down, letting the water run down her back. Then I remembered why I was leaving. This girl. The one only a few feet in front of me. It would be for her that my life was to be born anew.
My pistol fired into the curtain. It hit her head and she fell to the floor. I walked quickly to the bedside, grabbed my clothes, hastily put them on, and walked very fast out the door. She used her ID to check in. I had waited in the car while she did it. There’s no trace of me. I sit here recalling all the events in my mind from the past couple of hours. The car is going 35 down Main Street. I’m safe. I think of the girl who is still in that hotel room. The water running down her face and into the hole in her head. Along with her, died my sadness, my guilt, my pain, and my desire. And to think, as she died in an instant, she never knew what hit her. And she thought that I loved her.
No Title
It was our third time that night, and the mood was still strong. It was the best I had ever had. A night of passion where all your fantasies come true. A married man’s dream. If only I was married to her.
She got off of me and lay next to me on the bed. She was breathing like she had almost drowned. The smell of her perfume was burning my eyes, but at least it covered up that sleazy hotel room smell. Then she turned on her side and stared straight into my eyes. I laid on my back with my head turned, still looking back at her. We were lost for what seemed like hours. She was the one who broke the silence.
“Well how was that?” she said in her devilish voice. She knew that I knew what I was going to say, but she asked anyway.
“My head hurts a little,” I said. It was true. The back of my head was throbbing. In all the times we had snuck out to see each other, I had never felt a felling like this. It was like my skull had a pulse.
“Well,” she said with a half-smirk. “That’s because I just fucked your brains out.”
“I guess you did,” I said back.
There was a long pause, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. At least, not for her.
“You know,” she said. “I’ve lost count on how many times we’ve been with each other.”
“Me too,” I said back.
“Don’t you think that means something?” she asked, slowly twirling little figure eights with her index finger in between us. “Of course it means something,” I said in my head. “But I have no clue what it is. And I’m up shit creek if I don’t figure it out in about three seconds.”
“What?” I asked.
“That we love each other.”
My spine started to swell. A hundred little invisible bugs started pinching my face. I obviously didn’t show it, because she just lay there looking at my eyes, trying to hear what I was thinking. I would’ve tried to block it out, but honestly, I was trying to figure out what I was thinking as well. Suddenly I was starting to hover off the bed ever so slightly. I looked down to see if I was moving and my eyes became glued to the sheets.
“Don’t you think so?” she asked. “I mean, it’s not just about sex anymore for either of us. We’ve grown together. We are no longer who we where when this began. This could be the moment where we realize it.”
My eyes were still glued to the sheets. The message went in my ear and made root in my brain. I couldn’t think straight. What time was it? What was today? Does my wife suspect anything? Was she with another man, just like I was with another woman? Would they have gone somewhere like me, or stayed at home and done it in my bed? Our bed! One thing was for sure. My eyes weren’t moving from that spot on the bed, or else the world was going to end.
“Let’s go,” said a voice. “You and me. We’ll take the money we have and drive out of town. I have a full tank of gas. We can buy a house in a new town, and get new jobs. Then we can get married and live together until we die. What do you say?”
I tried to look at her, but my eyes weighed 50 lbs more than they did a few minutes ago. Slowly I made my way up to her breasts. Her chest. Her neck. Her mouth. Her nose. Her eyes. Damn those eyes. They were as focused on me as ever. All I could think to do was try to smile. Part of one managed to break through. Her eyes widened across her forehead. Her lips stretched across the width of her nose and narrowed all the way to her chin. She leaped from the bed shaking. She tried to talk, but she was so short of breath that it just sounded like gibberish.
“I’m going to get in the shower,” she finally said. “When I get out, we can leave.”
She walked with a new sort of step I had never seen her walk in before. She cracked the bathroom door and turned on the faucet to the shower. It pounded the tub and broke my concentration.
“A new life!” said my head in excitement. “No more depression and longing for something more. A new life. A new start, able to begin where I started and not have to live with the mistakes I made before. A new life…. Leaving everyone I know and not looking back. A new life, meaning never having to see my daughter or my wife again. A new life? This is what I want. Right?”
My mind froze for what had to be at least a minute.
“Of course it is. What did your wife ever do for you? If she cared then she wouldn’t have led you to sneaking out on her. And your daughter? She’s lost to you. She probably wouldn’t even notice if you were gone. I need proof. You want proof? Go look at the woman in the shower and tell yourself it isn’t worth it.”
I walked toward the sweet smell of her skin, getting wetter by the second in the shower. The door was only slightly cracked, not enough for me to see inside. I slowly pushed the door. Did it creak when she closed it? I can’t remember. I pushed softer still until I could fit my body inside. I remember the bathroom being plain white, but at that moment, it was pink. Pink shower, pink toilet, pink towels, pink air. I saw her silhouette in the curtain. Her back was to the spout and her head was hanging down, letting the water run down her back. Then I remembered why I was leaving. This girl. The one only a few feet in front of me. It would be for her that my life was to be born anew.
My pistol fired into the curtain. It hit her head and she fell to the floor. I walked quickly to the bedside, grabbed my clothes, hastily put them on, and walked very fast out the door. She used her ID to check in. I had waited in the car while she did it. There’s no trace of me. I sit here recalling all the events in my mind from the past couple of hours. The car is going 35 down Main Street. I’m safe. I think of the girl who is still in that hotel room. The water running down her face and into the hole in her head. Along with her, died my sadness, my guilt, my pain, and my desire. And to think, as she died in an instant, she never knew what hit her. And she thought that I loved her.