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Post by LadyintheShadows on Feb 23, 2005 18:05:00 GMT -5
Walking through the forest Of this lonely mind I thought I saw an angel Like no other kind
And he showed me A life I never knew And my happiness Suddenly grew
Walking through the forest Of this haunted heart I met the kindest angel Who showed me where to start
He taught me a different way To look at my life And I finally forgot All of my strife
Walking through the forest Of this long lost soul I found myself an angel Who really took his toll
And he showed me the truth Of how life could be And he really seemed to care And truly love me
Walking through the forest Of my entire being I met myself an angel I never thought I'd be seeing
But I sure glad He gave me that shove And showed me a little something And that something was love
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Post by JAGuar on Feb 23, 2005 21:59:34 GMT -5
Wow, even though your others were good, I liked this one a lot more. I'm glad to see that you tried to add in the aspects that were given to you last time. I think it really helps your poem flow more. I really have nothing to critique. Keep up the good work!
9 out of 10.
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Post by Member26 on Feb 24, 2005 7:50:12 GMT -5
see, now that's much better. not a 10, but much better. it's good when people put other's advice into their writing.
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Post by LadyintheShadows on Feb 24, 2005 17:40:42 GMT -5
Thanks. I decided to try an actual scheme to my poem this time. And thanks for your compliments. ;D
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Post by JAGuar on Feb 24, 2005 22:23:03 GMT -5
Oh, it was definitely a pleasure to read.
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Post by LadyintheShadows on Feb 28, 2005 17:49:38 GMT -5
Thanks so much. I really appreciate that.
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Post by Maddik on Mar 1, 2005 13:27:58 GMT -5
Wow, no kidding, best poem I've ever read(other than professionals, but they get paid to write good poems so I don't include them.) I think it was wrong to give it a 9, Jag. That was definitely a 10.
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Post by LadyintheShadows on Mar 1, 2005 14:56:19 GMT -5
That makes me sooo happy! ;D I am so glad that you enjoyed my poem so much!
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Post by Member26 on Mar 2, 2005 8:07:59 GMT -5
you're getting much better, you shuld keep writing.
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Post by LadyintheShadows on Mar 2, 2005 14:53:23 GMT -5
Thanks so much. I am actually working on a poetry book. But, anyways. I'll try to post more poems.
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