Can't you?

[LadyintheShadows]

Can't you help me with this fight
Can't you help me out tonight
Can't you see that I am not here
Can't you see that this is what I fear
Can't you hold me in your embrace
Can't you stroke my crying face
Can't you feel this dead soul
Can't you help me get control
Can't you help me get through this dream
Can't you calm me when I scream
Can't you see that I am scared
Can't you see I am unprepared
Can't you love me til we die
Can't you help me finally fly

[JAGuar]

There really wasn't a base to it, it seemed like. I mean, there's obviously ideas behind it but it's so seperated that it's hard to follow. All those "cant's" might be just a little too much. The idea is pretty interesting, though.

I'll give it a 6. I hate giving out anything lower than 7, but there's this thing where the owner has to be fair. Set examples and so on.

[Maddik]

What are you talking about, "have to be fair"? Although I agree with the overall score, I do have to add on that the whole treating everyone fairly thing is just a cop out.

[LadyintheShadows]

I wrote this poem one day...and then I decided to post it on here. I thank you both for your honesty. If you want to know what was going on with this, Jag, it was a bad day where things just seemed to be moving against me. I wrote it to the "invisible man" in the depths of my mind, who seems to understand how to take care of problems. Anyways. Thanks again for your critque and honesty.

[Maddik]

Oh, no problem. I'm always honest and I love being critical of others. ;D