|
Post by Valandil on Mar 14, 2005 15:15:16 GMT -5
Yes, I wrote a poem. I don't really like it, but it's the best one I've written. So if you want to comment on it, go for it. I know I don't comment on any of the other poems, so I don't expect anyone to say anything about mine. But either way, here you go, enjoy.
_______________________________________________
The Times are Changing
The times are changing, They’re gonna ensue. You have to let them, You can’t turn blue.
Whether your feelings for it Are good or bad, The times are changing, They’re changing young lad.
They’ll bring you up, And they’ll bring you down. But where they change They’ll bring you round.
The times are changing Into what seems like muck. You don’t like it, That’s tough luck.
Life is hard, Get a helmet. It’s great advice, Only if you like it.
There once was a time, When the air was clear. And the land and the sky Were places of cheer.
But the times are changing, And you better prepare. For the times are changing, And you’ll be there.
|
|
|
Post by Ahryantah on Mar 23, 2005 1:07:49 GMT -5
It's pretty good. You tried too hard to make things rhyme. I think you should work on it some more it help it flow better. Maybe find some different words to rhyme so that it doesn't sound forced or contrived. I like the kind of ominous feel it gets at the end.
So those are my comments. I don't know anything about poetry, so take them as you will.
|
|